1) Will readers recognize the story that is the subject of the paper?  Has the writer stated the title and author of the work at (or very near) the beginning of the introduction? – The author does a good job of explaining the topic of the paper as well as ensuring the title and the author of the work are in the intro, 

2) Does the introduction adequately prepare readers for the writer’s argument?  Do readers need a brief summary of the story’s plot?  Or do you feel that the essay contains too much plot summary rather than argument? – The introduction is good as it gives us a brief summary. I feel the argument Is kind of lost within the plot summart. 

3) Evaluate the thesis statement.  How adequately does it forecast the argument (let readers know what argument to expect in the body of the essay)? – I recommend touching up the thesis as the reader may be a little unsure of what the thesis is.  

4) Does each topic sentence express a supporting argument (not a factual statement that a reader cannot argue against) related to the thesis? – So far the topic sentences make sense and can support an argument.  

5) Where do any reasons (supporting points) the writer use seem too superficial (not important enough)?  – It is too early to comment as there isn’t enough paragraphs to know if things are not important. 

6) Do any paragraphs begin with summary or quotation?  Remind your classmate that paragraphs should begin with topic sentences that state supporting arguments. – None of the paragraphs begin with summaries or quotations. 

7) Evaluate the argument as a chain of reasons.  Does each point/body paragraph logically “link” to the next point/paragraph?  Suggest how the organization could be improved. – The paragraphs do link with one another and make sense. 

8) Where does the support seem skimpy?  Where does the writer need to include more specific details from the story?  What else can the writer say about these reasons?  – Many supporting paragraphs are missing to further the argument being made.  

9) Does the writer include sufficient quotations from the novel to make a convincing argument?     – More quotations are needed. 

10) Does the writer explain/interpret any quotations in his or her own words?  Where does he or she need to provide more explanation or interpretation of quotations?  Do any concepts need to be defined? – More quotations will strengthen the argument, as well as explaining the connection between the quote and the argument. 

11) Does the connection between a reason and its support (the specific example) seem vague or otherwise unclear?  If so, where?  How might the writer clarify this connection? – So far the author makes clear connections based on the argument given. 

12) Are there contradictions or gaps (holes!) in the writer’s argument?  If so, where?  Will explaining a point resolve the contradiction?  Or, should the writer eliminate the contradicting point altogether? If there are gaps in the argument, what is missing from the argument?  Suggest what else the writer might discuss. – There are gaps within the essay as it is a rough draft and does seem to be missing quite a bit. 

13)  Is the essay formatted to MLA guidelines?  If not, please identify missing or incorrect elements. – Works Cited is missing 

14)  Is there a Works Cited?  Does the Works Cited contain a complete entry? – No Works Cited

Your essay starts with the good amount of information to the readers who have never read this play. It has a good quality of writing. I want to point out few things. First is your MLA  format. Even though it is the first draft, you should put some citation and the basic format of the MLA because it is required to earn a grade. I think you also might need some quotation to support your good points inside the paragraphs. I think you already know it, but it has a critical problem with the length of the paragraphs. I think it will look much better to meet up the minimum requirements on the rubric. With those two paragraphs i read inside your essay. I think you have a much better chance to write a great quality of essay if you come up with some more ideas.3


Walter Younger is a long term old African-American man who fills in as a spouse, father, sibling and child. Notwithstanding filling in as these parts to his family, he is likewise a business visionary attempting to improve the everyday environments of his family and substantiate himself as a man. Walter can be depicted as an appealing man who is aggressive, obstinate and loaded up proudly. In the start of the story, he is an egotistical man yet through the story he starts to advance, yet at the same time figures out how to keep his pride. Walter is a round and dynamic character in this story who encounters the most development. His fantasy about getting riches is a huge aspect of his character and a wellspring of a large number of the contentions in the play. The inspirations driving his fantasies are both childish and honorable; one hand, he needs to become rich since he never had enough growing up, and yet he needs cash and regard for his family, he needs to furnish his significant other and child with the best. These various inspirations driving Walter’s activities are on the whole parts of his mind boggling character.

The Walter’s Character in Light of Traditional Gender

Walter is more egotistical and difficult in the start of the story. He generally attempted to remove the simple course from things however he began to change after he lost the entirety of his cash after his companion’s disloyalty. The majority of the play was based on Walter’s objective to gain the cash to begin his business and hence when he loses everything, it has an enduring impact on his character (Jenny , 2010). Towards the finish of the story he begins contemplating others and is eager to work for things. “One thing ‘session sibling, he generally realize how to make some great memories.

The Way Walter Maintains Masculinity

Walter maintained his Masculinity at any given point of his life. This shows how he was once driven and needed to arrive at his objective (Jenny , 2010). yet, later in the play when he needs to surrender and acknowledge the cash is the point at which he arrives at his absolute bottom, and that sensational fall in his character is the motivation behind why he encounters the most development after that scene. He had a changing encounter during that scene, and he came out as an alternate individual. “… simply put the cash in my grasp and you won’t need to live close to this pack of smelling niggers! And possibly perhaps I’ll simply get down on my dark knees… “This statement shows the deterioration of his aspiration towards his objectives and goes about as a portrayal of the absolute bottom of Walter’s life.
That isn’t a man. That is only an innocuous rodent. His family feels detached with Walter during this scene thus when he later alters his perspective on tolerating the cash and shows his development, the nuclear family gets more grounded. “Also, we have chosen to move into our home on the grounds that my dad my dad he ear

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